花自飘零水自流 - 李清照的婚姻与宋代妇女生活

“红藕香残玉簟秋，轻解罗裳，独上兰舟。云中谁寄锦书来？雁字回时，月满西楼。

花自飘零水自流，一种相思，两处闲愁。此情无计可消除，才下眉头，却上心头。” ——李清照《一剪梅》

李清照这首词集中抒发了对丈夫的深挚情感，吐露了不忍离别之情以及别后的相思之苦，将一位沉湎于夫妻恩爱中的独守空闺、备受相思折磨的妻子的心理刻画得细腻入微。在宋代妇女乃至在中国古代妇女中，李清照与赵明诚的婚姻生活可算是幸福的。而李清照中年以后的再婚与离异，又是极其不幸的。李清照的婚姻生活，可以从多重侧面反映宋代妇女的生活状况。

从新婚到家亡

宋徽宗建中靖国元年，十八岁的李清照与二十一岁的赵明诚结为伉俪。

李清照与赵明诚结婚时，赵明诚还在太学读书，平日寄居在校舍，只有初一、十五等日子方可请假回家。受赵明诚的感染，李清照婚后也迅速喜欢上了金石碑刻。每逢假日赵明诚回家，夫妻二人就质典衣服，得到五百钱，结伴闲逛汴京相国寺集市，选中喜爱的金石碑文，量力购买。回家后，两人相对观赏，考辨碑文的内容、年代等。甜蜜的新婚生活，就在这样诗书、学术空气非常浓厚的环境中度过。

大约在政和七年，赵明诚再度离家，开始了新一轮的仕途奔波生活。这一次，是李清照与赵明诚结婚十几年之后第一次时间较长的离别。忽然面临这么一场离别，李清照是非常不适应的，离情别思因此汹涌而来。李清照大量脍炙人口的爱情词都应该创作于这一次别离期间。

宋高宗建炎年间，金人多次渡江南侵，南方乱兵盗贼四起，烧杀掳掠，民不聊生。从靖康国难以来，赵明诚一直劳心劳力，没有片刻喘息时间。一次在大暑天里的急驰赶赴行在建康，彻底摧毁了赵明诚的健康，使他的积劳难以遏制地爆发出来。途中，赵明诚感染了疟疾，遂一病不起。这一年，赵明诚四十九岁，李清照四十六岁。

从再嫁到离异

大约在绍兴二年五六月之间，李清照改嫁张汝舟。对于李清照来说，她向来独行其是，自强自信，渴望真挚的男女相爱的感情生活，渴望心灵的沟通。南渡前安定幸福的婚姻生活与南渡后失去丈夫的孤苦无依的生活，两者之间的巨大落差，使李清照渴望再度获得家庭的温暖与温馨，渴望再次得到异性的关爱与抚慰，渴望自己的晚年不是在寂苦无聊中煎熬过去。所以，她才会轻信张汝舟的甜言蜜语，才会轻易上当再嫁。无论再嫁的对象是否合适，再嫁的结局如何，李清照的这些渴望都是一位正常女性的正常追求，无可厚非。

事后分析，这场婚姻对张汝舟来说，大约是出于贪图钱财的目的。结婚之后，双方都发现上当。就李清照而言，她发现张汝舟是一市井“驵侩”下人，是无耻“怀臭”之夫，与赵明诚相比，简直是一在天上，一在地下。就张汝舟而言，李清照的家产不如想像中的丰富，而且李清照还把持着那些藏品不愿相让。恼羞成怒之余，张汝舟便每日拳脚相加，欺凌李清照，甚至有将李清照虐待致死的意图。这样既解心头之恨，又可以逼迫李清照交出财产。

李清照不是一位逆来顺受的胆小怕事者，一旦她认清了张汝舟的险恶用心与真实嘴脸，就不能坐以待毙，而是积极谋求解脱的方法。很快，张汝舟的把柄就被李清照抓住了。张汝舟曾利用欺骗手段获得官职，李清照知道后立即检举上报，最终与张汝舟双双入狱。因为根据宋朝刑法规定，妻子告发丈夫，虽然事实确凿，妻子也须服刑二年。对于刑法的规定李清照当然是清楚的，她甘心陪同入狱，也不愿苟且了事，这就是李清照倔强独立的个性。李清照入狱以后，她的亲戚故旧当然不能坐视不理，一些在朝廷做官的有势力者也从中加以援手。最终，李清照仅在狱中关了九天，就被释放出来了。这一次从再嫁到离异，不过一百来天的时间。

骇俗婚姻 激发波澜

北宋中叶以前，继承唐五代社会风气，寡妇或一般妇女再嫁依然比较随便。另一方面，宋代理学思想逐渐形成，对妇女的道德禁锢日趋严厉。经过理学家的宣扬与朝廷的倡导，宋人关于妇女再嫁的观念逐渐转变，“从一而终”的贞节观日益深入人心，越来越成为社会各阶层普遍认可的伦理道德标准。

虽然自北宋中叶以来妇女再嫁的现象越来越少见，但是并没有断绝。宋度宗母黄氏就是一位改嫁的妇女。南宋后期权臣贾似道的母亲胡氏，也前后嫁过三个丈夫。陆游前妻唐琬，因不为婆婆所容被迫离异，改嫁宋宗室子弟赵士程，更是为人们所熟知的历史故事。

明白了李清照所生活的年代人们对于妇女再嫁及离异等问题的看法与做法，再来理解李清照的作为及其现实处境，对李清照的认识就能更深入一层。李清照所生活的年代是允许妇女再嫁的，再嫁的事情也时有发生，这就为李清照的再嫁提供了现实的可能性。再有，李清照所生活的年代，人们已经基本建立起妇女“从一而终”的贞节观念，再嫁者往往遭人鄙夷，甚至受社会舆论的围剿。这又为妇女的再嫁设置了重重现实困难。李清照正生活在这种社会风俗的转变过程之中。她依据作为一个正常人内心所渴望的正常的男女异性情感交流的需求，为追求中晚年生活的幸福，不顾世俗的贬斥，毅然决定再嫁张汝舟，何等地个性鲜明，何等地独立不羁。或许正是因为与赵明诚的幸福婚姻，使李清照深刻地体会到了男女异性情感交流乃至相爱所获得的身心愉悦，体会到夫妻生活的重要性，使她不愿面对寡居的冷清生活，所以才迈出改嫁的大胆一步。继而发现张汝舟的龌龊不堪，李清照又毅然讼夫离异，这种举止更加惊世骇俗。但是，这种行为方式，恰恰与李清照的个性相一致。

李清照迈出这大胆的一步，意味着得罪前夫赵明诚的所有亲戚朋友，在赵家成员看来，李清照已经使他们颜面扫地，李清照已经不再可能从前夫赵明诚的家族中获得任何支持。迈出这大胆的一步，预示着李清照也将被娘家的亲戚朋友所唾弃，在将近晚年的时候，还要演出一段“黄昏恋”，娘家人的面子又置于何处？李清照也不可能从娘家亲戚友人中获得太多的同情和支持了。迈出这大胆的一步，更意味着得罪整个上流社会，李清照的大胆自由与出言无忌，早已招致了当时上流社会的不满，此时再嫁的举动，为她的“荒淫”、“恣肆”找到了新的佐证，李清照又怎么可能再被上流社会所容纳？陈振孙说李清照“晚岁颇失节”，王灼称李清照“晚节流荡无归”，胡仔说“传者无不笑之”，充分说明了当时整个社会对李清照再嫁以及离异的极端鄙夷态度。李清照晚年的孤苦伶仃、流落无依，当然与这大胆的一步有很密切的关联。

（选自《宋词说宋史》，全文较长，有删节）

Reading Woman

This is as if could only be in an intellectual woman’s dream scene, alone one person, and only one person, calmly reads in a room, does not have to do any housework, does not have children interfere, does not have any disturbance. Noisy city life and worrisome human competition are all far away from her. The book in her hand is her entire world. She could have the extravagant only to dialog with her own mind.

Reading woman is peaceful. She immerses herself entirely in the word sea of story. Her eyes are acting as oars breaking the wave and seeking for the other remote spiritual shore. She does not have time to chit chat or talk incessantly. She does not have time to provoke judgment of right or wrong. Her turning of page is gentle like micro breeze over a lawn. The book is like a partition wall blocking all together outside noise, but her ear can distinguish the slightest sound between book pages, and she replies the sound with tears or happiness.

Reading woman is laborious. She is not a privileged woman in the 17th century story. She is one of the 20th century's busy women who had to run between her job and housework. She saves spending on fashionable clothing or luxurious cosmetics for buying books. She waits until husband and children have gone to sleep, and scarifies her own good dream time to read. Regardless of her buying books or reading books, she pays with the blood and sweat. She overdraws her future time for reading credit. If a woman loves both the family and the reading, she would be in constant struggle for balance in a sea of bitterness with no bound.

Reading woman is stupid. She cannot distinguish difference between the books and the reality. She thinks the book story as her life, regards the book character as herself. Reading woman can rationalize clearly others' matter, frequently direct the book aphorism to teach others, but she is completely muddled in the cloud to own matter in the fog. Coping the reality with the book experience is often a wrong adding to another wrong.

But eventually reading woman is happy. The rational ponder gives her own brains; she has the charm of self-confident. The knowledge filters out her pain; the strength enables her to resist material enticement. She becomes formidable rich over more impractical satisfactions.

Longs for reading, she chooses the book from the vast book sea which suits perhaps her alike. In the mornings with light rain, in the dusks with wind blow, in the winters with heavy snow fall or in the springs with willow catkin flutter, if possible, could she add a cup of steam green tea? She frequently imagines she were under a full bloom of cherry tree, or were on a river bank with carpet like fresh green, or were on a sand beach seashore lessening perhaps striking sound of startled Tao on the reef. She hugs book and she reads until she totally forgets both book and her. Once in a while, there were butterflies or birds flying over her head, or fluttered light flower fragrance from a distant place - that could be either real or imagines of romantic acme.

In reality, throughout her several dozen years readings, the poetic sentiment for readings may not always stay. She read through her childhood on hot summer sweaty sleeping mat, and under cold winter thin bedding; she read under oil lamp in regiment dormitory, and under candle light in mountain woods tent; she read in a journey at dirty train station, she read in packed like sardines residence, she read on a quack sound making broken chair. Those days without a comfortable studio but her desires was high of the reading craziness, just because of her mind hunger, day after day, and year after year, reading like swallow has gradually become kind of physiological needs and inertia.

Reading could be divided into two kinds. One is for some applied needs: glancing over the outstanding literary work to seek for the disparity, understanding the current trend and the characteristic to make the reference, consulting theory books and dictionary to meet the supplemental knowledge … But woman likes another kind of reading, which has nothing to do with her needs, not for writing, natural science, philosophy, art, as well as biography, she reads simply because she likes. Though on surface these reading seem useless, but it acting like the forest oxygen and the fresh spring water, improves your breath and blood, transforms your knowledge structure and the thought space. Its osmosis is long-term and invisible, not for quick success and immediate gain. If the first kind of reading is like modern western medicine, like immediate and effective infusion intravenous injection, then the latter is like recuperation with Chinese medicine, like nourishing supplementing with strong and healthy body. What a pity we are always trying to seek medical help when we already feel sick. In the labyrinth book city, we could have missed many sinuous deep paths for the good books.

Reading woman is now having her own studio. She looks at the full rack of bookshelf and begins to worry. She discovers in a lifetime, even if she does not do any work and uses all her time to read and read, she is still unable to read off the world of great books. This discovery is really a desperate one.